Aaron Darby - Reconnection coaching for men

The kids have left. The house is quiet. And you're not sure who's across the table any more.

Private, practical coaching for men who want to feel close to their partner again - in six weeks. Not counselling.

Book a private callTake the 3-minute check

Online and one-to-one. Confidential. Your partner doesn't need to attend.

In six weeks, become the man your partner wants to come home to, and feel close again.

Does this sound familiar?

  • You get along fine - but you feel more like flatmates than partners.

  • The same arguments come round, and nothing gets resolved.

  • She's changed, you're not sure why, and you don't know what to say.

  • You're the one who fixes things, and there's no one you can talk to about this.

Working harder got you everything you have. It can't get you this.

The way you react at home runs on patterns set long before this relationship. Trying harder just runs the same patterns faster. Change the pattern, and the way you show up changes - often without a word being said.

Become the man she wants to come home to.

Closeness

Feel close to your partner again - talking, laughing, wanting to be around each other.

Calm in yourself

Stay steady when things get tense, instead of shutting down or snapping.

A relationship that feels secure

Know where you stand, and look forward to the next chapter together.

How it works

  1. A private call

    30-40 minutes to talk through what's going on and whether this fits.

  2. Six weekly sessions

    One-to-one, online, at times that suit you, including early mornings and lunchtimes.

  3. Skills for life

    Practical tools you keep using long after we finish.

What this isn't

  • Not counselling
  • Not hypnosis
  • Nothing spiritual
  • No reliving the past
  • Your partner doesn't need to attend

About Aaron

I'm Aaron - an engineer and military veteran, and the man who fixed everything by working harder, until it stopped working at home. In my own blended family I found a different way, and I now help men in the same position find their way back to their partner.

More about Aaron

If you've read this far, you already know. Six weeks from now, you could be the man she wants to come home to.

Book a private call

Confidential. Your partner doesn't need to know you've booked.

FOR THOSE WHO'VE SERVED

For those who've served

Defence · Police · Fire · Ambulance

You've carried things most people never see. Some of it came home with you, in your sleep, your temper, how close you let people get, or how switched on you still are years later.

Register your interest

I've been there

I'm Aaron. I served in the NZDF, including an operational tour in Afghanistan. I know what it's like to keep functioning on the outside while something's still running underneath.

What this is

Private, one-to-one coaching for people living with the after-effects of trauma, including PTSD. We work on the stuck responses and beliefs that keep you on guard, so you can come back to yourself and the people around you.

This isn't counselling, and it doesn't replace medical or clinical care. If you're under a GP, psychologist or psychiatrist, this works alongside them.

12-week pilot programme

$1,000 for the full 12 weeks, a reduced rate for those who've served. Online, one-to-one.

One place a month

I take on one new person from this community each month, so each person gets my full attention.

Measuring what changes

At the start and end you'll complete a short, standard questionnaire that measures trauma symptoms, so you can see the change for yourself. It's a measure, not a diagnosis.

Helping make this free

With your permission, I'll combine anonymised results (no names, no identifying details) to build the case for ACC funding, so this support can be free for those who've served. Saying no doesn't affect your place.

How it works

  1. Register your interest — the short form below.

  2. I'll be in touch within one working day.

  3. A private intake call (about 30 minutes) to talk about where you're at, the support you already have, and whether this is the right fit right now.

  4. Before we start, you'll read and sign a consent form and complete the starting questionnaire.

  5. 12 weekly one-to-one sessions, online.

  6. At week 12 you'll complete the questionnaire again, and we'll look at what's changed together.

  7. If you agree, a short follow-up questionnaire three months later.

Is this right for you right now?

This programme is for people who are safe and stable enough to do focused work over 12 weeks. If you're in crisis, having thoughts of ending your life, or need medical or specialist care first, I'll help you connect with the right support, and you're welcome to come back when you're ready.

If you need help right now, the numbers are below.

Your information

  • Everything you share is confidential and stored securely.
  • Your questionnaire results are yours, and we'll go through them together.
  • Nothing that identifies you is shared without your written permission, except where someone's safety is at risk or the law requires it.
  • Contributing anonymised results to the ACC funding case is optional.

Register your interest

A short, confidential form. I'll read it personally and be in touch within one working day.

If you're in crisis, please don't use this form. Use the numbers below.

Need help right now?

If you're in immediate danger, call 111 in New Zealand or 000 in Australia.

New Zealand: Free call or text 1737, any time NZDF4U 0800 693 348 Lifeline 0800 543 354

Australia: Open Arms (veterans and families, 24/7) 1800 011 046 Lifeline 13 11 14

Other support worth knowing about

01

No Duff Charitable Trust

Support network for veterans.

02

SHHL

Breathwork coaching to help process traumatic past.

03

SSANZ — Veteran Adventures

Soldiers Sailors Airmen New Zealand — Veteran Adventures.